Eight Suitcases for Eight Levels of Despair
by Rylitah
Summary: When anticipating the roster for the next Smash Brothers game, it's natural for all of the previous characters to be nervous. Though some handle it quite... differently than others. / a.k.a. why Roy is too optimistic for his own good, why Olimar is too pessimistic for his own good, why Marth and Ike's blue hair is the best, and why Falcon is the worst roommate ever. [Oneshot.]


**A/N: Today's update to the Smash 4 site really surprised and pleased me. Thus, this oneshot came about.**

**OoO**

"Please, please, please," a certain Captain Falcon murmured, refreshing the site every other second as the clock on his laptop counted down to the scheduled update time.

"Calm down," his roommate, Captain Olimar, sighed as he shut closed one of the five suitcases he had already stuffed full. The other four lay atop his bed, and they would have burst out with all of the stuff the miniature Smasher had packed in them if he hadn't locked them tight. "You're pretty much guaranteed to make it. You've been here since the beginning."

Falcon leaned back in his chair to pout at his short roommate before retorting, "Yeah, but I was revealed very _late_ last time when Brawl was still announcing everyone that made the roster! Everyone thought I was a goner! _Me_! Can you believe that?"

"Well, I can't honestly say that I know what you were going through. … Wait, actually, I can."

"Shut up, Olimar. You're getting into the next game."

"Let's see if Alph has anything to say about that." Falcon would have responded something like, '_Who cares about Alph? He's just a somehow even shorter version of you with blue hair and creepy eyes. What has he done? Has he been in all three Pikmin games and made a lasting impression on its fanbase as _the _main character?_' but he kept his mouth shut out of respect. Yes, he did respect the little Hocotatian, didn't he? It was odd, looking up to someone six feet shorter than oneself, but he didn't bother with the technicalities of it all.

The point was, Alph was a very touchy subject for Olimar. One the space explorer did not like discussing at all.

"It's almost time for the site to update," Falcon changed the subject back to what it once was and bit his lip. "Come on, come on, I have a really good feeling about this! _Someone_ is going to get revealed today! It's exactly one month after this game got announced, it should be me!"

"Have fun," Olimar droned woefully as he grabbed his sixth suitcase. He had spent the entire month after Smash 4's reveal packing all of his belongings (it was amazing how much he owned after living in the Smash Manor for five years), and no matter how much Falcon or anyone else tried to talk about it, he remained pessimistic in the shadows of the new character that would take over his role as protagonist in the new game of his franchise.

He only stopped packing his belongings in his sixth suitcase when a sharp rap on the door caught his attention. He turned to face Falcon, but the bounty hunter was so engrossed in his page-refreshing spree that he didn't seem to notice. Olimar sighed, and moved his tiny body off the bed to answer the door's call.

"Olimar!" The happy face of Marth greeted. "Hey, is Falcon in?" Behind him stood a few other Smashers, namely Yoshi, Wario, Ike, Luigi, and…

"Um, who are you?" Olimar narrowed his eyes at the unfamiliar face. He wasn't really one to immediately resort to 'stranger danger', but he didn't want to come across as easy as well. (Was that the right phrase for it? Olimar never did understand human/western phrases)

The redheaded male jerked upright upon being called out. "Oh, uh," he laughed nervously and held his hand out. "My name is Roy! I'm from the Melee tournament. You probably don't know me since you're a Brawl newcomer, and I wasn't in Brawl…" He looked off to the side awkwardly. "Um… yeah. Marth told me you were short, but I wasn't expecting you to be _that_ short, really…"

Olimar's frown deepened and a yellow Pikmin flew from behind him and into Roy's face.

"Agh! What the heck is this?!" Roy reacted instantly, trying to pry the sentient carrot off the most beautiful aspect of his body without ripping both it and the creature in the process.

"Meet Olimar's defense squad," Marth groaned. "Anyway Olimar, Roy's fine. He's cool. So can we meet Falcon?"

"I don't see why not," and he moved aside to let the six inside. The yellow Pikmin jumped off Roy's face and landed by Olimar's side as soon as the little Hocotatian whistled, but it continued to glare at the redhead as he stood awkwardly by Falcon at the computer.

"What's with all the luggage?" Luigi asked jokingly, pointing at all of the suitcases and clothes that littered the room. "Is one of you going on vacation?"

Olimar shook his head. "No. I'm leaving Smash Brothers."

"What?!" Marth, Ike, and Luigi all exclaimed in unison. "You can't do that! You have one of the most unique movesets out of everyone here!"

"Tell that to Alph when he takes my place!" Olimar shouted before he moved to continue his gloomy packing.

"Who's Alph?"

"Some kid that Olimar's dead set on being replaced by," Falcon waved his hand. "It's no big deal. But what _is_ a big deal is that _the site hasn't been updated yet_!"

"You have to be patient for this kind of thing," Roy smiled. He ignored the multiple colors of Pikmin that tugged and pulled and dragged his cape. "I mean, I had to wait five years just for the Brawl tournament to end. How do you think I felt?"

"No one cares how you felt, Roy," Ike muttered.

Roy slapped him.

Yoshi shook his head and widened his eyes pitifully to guilt the Fire Emblem representatives to not start fighting. They looked at the cute, green little dinosaur before they all broke out in smiles and hugged the creature. Yoshi cooed in delight.

Wario picked his nose.

"Come on, come on," Falcon continued pressing F5 on his keyboard. "It's past the time for the site to be updated! Where's the update?"

"It's just going to be another picture," Wario commented, pulling out his finger and staring at it.

Ike made a face of absolute disgust. "Ew. If you're so uninterested, why don't you just leave?"

The portly biker shrugged and said, "If something interesting does pop up on the site, I want to be the first to see it, eh?"

"Too bad, because I'm seeing it first!" Falcon shouted quickly before pressing the refresh button again.

Luigi twiddled his fingers. "I hope I'm not revealed too late again…"

Falcon laughed. "You're just going to be a secret character again. You'll always be last, Luigi. Not like that's a bad thing! I'm going to be secret again too, probably. We can be last together."

"That was honestly the last thing I ever expected to hear from you, Falcon," Olimar called from the bed.

"Shut up."

"Well, if you're so sure someone's getting announced today, then it should be me, right?" Marth smiled, pushing Falcon out of the way and refreshing the page for him. "After all, I'm the face of the Fire Emblem series!"

"Oh, can it." Ike shoved him away.

When the page loaded for the umpteenth time that hour, something new had definitely appeared. 'Warning! Challenger approaching!' had been posted in large, bolded, and in all capital letters right underneath where the new picture was supposed to go. Yoshi stared at it, wide-eyed. Roy forgot how to speak. Marth and Ike were flabbergasted. Wario was surprised as well, but he tried not to show it.

Falcon, however, rubbed it in. "Ha! I was so right! I so knew someone was getting revealed today! In your faces!"

Yoshi made a quick, hurried noise. Marth quickly translated, "I think Yoshi thinks he has the highest chance of being the one revealed today, since he's one of the original eight as well but he got shafted by Pit in the reveal trailer."

"But me?! People want me back!" Roy shouted, shoving the blue haired prince away. "I'm the one you all should watch out for! My Japanese fanbase is _enormous_!"

"Too bad everyone hates your games," Ike snickered. The redhead flicked him in the face.

"You aren't one to talk."

"Hey, hey, no fighting. So it can be Yoshi or one of you Fire Emblem people," Falcon tried calming them down. "Who else could it be?"

"Alph," Olimar spoke up from the bed. He had finished packing his sixth suitcase and was already onto his seventh. "It's Alph. Pikmin 3 releases in Japan today. He's in it. It's Alph. I'm gone."

They all stared at him. "I, uh… huh." Marth's shoulders sagged. "That's actually a pretty valid point."

"I will not have my midget genius of a roommate be replaced by a midget genius of a roommate with blue hair!" Falcon declared dramatically, reaching forward to press F5 again. "Never! I won't allow it!"

Marth and Ike looked hurt. "What's wrong with blue hair…? I at least keep mine washed and well groomed at all times of the day," the Altean prince muttered.

"There's really no other hair color that would look good on me," Ike mumbled.

Roy snickered. "Red's the way to go. Olimar's got that idea right, at least."

"I hate the color red," Olimar spoke up.

Roy frowned. "Then you don't matter."

"Don't talk to my roommate like that," Falcon flicked him in the forehead. "Come on now, the site will update any moment now…"

"It'll be me, in one major upset," Wario snickered. "Then I'll laugh in all of your faces and leave behind my scent for you all to remember me by."

"Oh, please don't," Luigi was already covering his nose. "Why don't you go do that in Bowser's room or something?"

Wario's eyes widened. "Hey… that's not a bad idea! You can be pretty bright sometimes, you know that, Weegee?" He clapped the green-clad plumber on the back harshly and laughed as he made his way out of his room and over to Mario's arch nemesis'.

Yoshi fiddled with his own oddly shaped fingers for a moment before darting out after the thick biker, possibly hoping to stop him before too much damage could be done. Falcon couldn't necessarily blame him, and so he wished the little dino all the luck he could give.

"But really, you guys, I think I have a chance at coming back," Roy jumped up and down. "So many people want me back! So many! That's got to count for something, right?"

"We'll see. But they won't dare reveal you before _me_," Marth smirked.

"Lucas was revealed before Ness when Brawl's roster was still being announced."

"… Shut up, Ike."

Falcon's fingers were still constantly tapping the F5 button, again and again and again until—

"Wait!" Ike shouted, and the bounty hunter stopped. The page started to load slowly. "I saw a picture just a second ago! Don't refresh anymore, it's out!"

"Oh boy, oh boy!" Roy propped himself up on the desk with his elbows and held his head in his hands. "I can't wait to see what I'll look like in glorious HD…"

"Never happening," Marth smirked. "Maybe as a trophy or an assist."

"Low blow, man."

"Mewtwo had to settle for it."

"_Low blow._"

The page was still loading. Falcon started to sweat with anticipation. "Come on, page, don't do this to me. Why do you have to be all slow _now_? Come on, you have one job! _One job!_"

"Don't yell at it!" Ike jumped. "It'll load even slower!"

"Because it definitely knows we're waiting for it, and it wants to antagonize us."

"Yes, exactly!"

They waited for about a minute longer for the page to load, and once it finally did… all four men huddling around the computer screen went silent in shock. Their eyes widened at the character portrait revealed in the update section of the site. Every few seconds they had to look up at the URL to make sure they were on the correct site, but alas, they were. It was no joke.

Falcon coughed. "Well, uh… are your curiosities satisfied now?"

"No!" Roy shouted, hands splaying all over the monitor. "That's not me! I don't look like that! Nooo!"

"Go home, Roy," Ike muttered, shoving the redhead towards the door. Roy simply fell limp and collapsed onto the floor, heaving dry sobs in his misery. No one bothered to help him.

"So, uh, Olimar! You have something to explain to us."

Olimar groaned. "There's nothing _to_ explain! It's just Alph, isn't it? I'm going to turn around and his blue hair will be poking out of the screen, _mocking me_—"

He turned around and his eyes widened comically. Staring back at him from the computer's monitor was a picture of the newest addition to Smash 4's roster… a picture of himself.

The Hocotatian rubbed his eyes. "My eyes are playing a trick on me. That isn't me. That's not me."

"It kind of says your name over here, buddy," Falcon jabbed his thumb at the screen. "I think there's a pretty good chance of that being you." Olimar stared at his name, at his _picture_, for a few more seconds…

… before he promptly fell backwards and passed out on the floor.

"That's not fair," Marth muttered. "That's not fair. How can someone like _him_, a _Brawl newcomer_, get confirmed before someone like _me_, a _Melee newcomer_…?"

Falcon scoffed. "What about me, a _64 veteran_? Or Yoshi, who was part of the original twelve?"

Marth frowned. "It appears I have overestimated the reveals for the roster of the next game. Please excuse me." He tiptoed over Roy's body and silently, stiffly, made his way out the door.

Ike still could not find much in himself to say any more about the day's unexpected update, and so he simply picked up Roy by the arms and dragged him off in Marth's direction.

Falcon sighed. Then he looked over at Olimar's unconscious body. Then at the seven – wait no, eight (that crazy midget was already planning an eighth suitcase!) – suitcases strewn about the room. Then he realized that, unless he wanted to be seen as a roommate with horrible manners, he would have to clean everything up all by himself since Olimar would most definitely _not_ be leaving anytime soon like the little Hocotatian originally thought.

"… Have fun with that, Olimar!" And with that, he quickly went off to find the three swordsmen to avoid clean-up duty.

**OoO**

**A/N: Roy is so silly. But he does have a sizeable fanbase in Japan (and I guess the western fandom too) that **_**really**_** wants him back.**

**(Sakurai can do whatever he wants with the roster now the one character I wanted back is confirmed YES HAHA)**


End file.
